One of my friends calls and says they are neither happy nor sad but are stuck. They say that they are not afraid of the social norms or the society but afraid to open up to a counselor. They happen to believe the current status is because of karma of previous birth. They happen to say why to do anything at all when they are neither happy nor sad. They admitted to the addiction to the Internet for certain things and found it hard to get over it. They confess the family is incapable of helping out for they are tied to societal bindings. No amount of my telling got into their head that they are living in a fantasy world. Why not, was their impulsive reaction. I felt the need to get through the phone, reach them, hold their arms, shake them and say, “because it’s the question of their health, the question of their life.”
I could sense their immense knowledge on varied subjects that lacked the wisdom to choose from it. It appeared as though that Google was finding it hard to prioritize its display from the result of its search.
What use is the knowledge when it is not put to use? I remembered a co-worker of mine who was super capable but hardly did any work. They used to watch “Kapil Sharma shows” on the office network during office hours. And there were donkeys like use to carry their share of work. When questioned they blamed the system and lack of well-defined roles. End of the day they carried the perks and we were left to carry more loads. They had home pains for which they found a solution at the office. We had office pains which we carried home. Sufferings remained.
Pain is part of all humans, be it men or women. I strongly feel it’s a little more for women than men. Maybe I am biased in saying that. But it appears to me that men get away with things easily because of the patriarchy. Be it in the office or at home. Patriarchy is majorly being pillared by the women themselves. Unless there are things well defined, be it at an office or home, people will be left to suffer and misuse the system.
I have seen my mother running on headaches during her 30ies. I have heard my paternal grandmother talk about her 30-40ies struggle. Then I have heard of women who have had long irregular periods during this phase of life. I have heard of aunts and cousins in these phases. The phase is usually referred to as a mid-life crisis. It's not “A woman’s” problem, it's every women’s problem. A phase of conflict within. Sadly most adjust to the system without question. Why? Because of the disease called “log kya sochenge” (“what will people think”). If there are a few who take the courage to question the system, then there is a whole lot of interconnected networks ready to press them down. Why?
To top it all, there are social media to drive people into another level of madness. Influencers who use the concept of women empowerment, feminism, spirituality, education reform, social reform to influence. How many are genuine?